That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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