and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
