I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
