It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
