I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize