So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
