Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Randomize
