Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize