i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
