I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
