This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
