return my video game
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
