well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
