I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
be right there i have to get my cape
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
