That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
