Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
