I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize