i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's just like the Real World with babies
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
