Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
