We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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