so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
