Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
