C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did I show you my penis last night?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
