I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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