She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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