all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
