we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize