I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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