I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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