Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
