dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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