NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hippo gnu deer
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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