So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
