i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
