I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize