we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
