guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
