Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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