Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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