when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
