hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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