Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
