Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
