I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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