Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
