She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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