i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
