You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
