no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
