You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize