so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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