maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
