Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I woke up under a house in Key West
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
