My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize