Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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