let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
