i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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