i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
