i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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