due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
