hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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