don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
