Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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