Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
