I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
