Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
