The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
even my farts smell like vagina
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
