He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
